I’m scared that I’ll never find the right ‘balance’ and mourn for the career I once had

At the age of 32 I was running a 12 strong marketing team in a FTSE 250 company. I was the youngest manager at my level and one of only a handful of females in the top 100 managers. All was good. Then I got pregnant – at first no problems, all seemed OK. Then I took 12 months maternity leave – during this time my job was given to someone else – but lots of promises around a new role on my return. Back to the office and a ‘Special Projects’ role – no team and in reality no projects. I was totally ostracised and given work that junior members of my team used to do. Utterly soul destroying after 7 years at this company and after a long and protracted process (during which I was in the early stages of my 2nd pregnancy) I took redundancy which in reality was a compromise agreement and a huge payout to avoid me dragging them through the courts. Fast forward 5 years I’ve got 2 beautiful girls and a new job at a charity but I’ve decided to leave. I’ve been unable to compromise on my professional trajectory and look after my girls so from April I’m going to be a full time Mum. I’m scared that I’ll never find the right ‘balance’ and mourn for the career I once had. But I know this is the right decision for now!

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