She implied I should have a termination

Hi! Just watching Kids Versus Career on iTV and discovered your website.

I worked for the prison service. Always had good appraisals, never a crossed word with my manager, never late, always reliable and hard working. But I was 35 and married with no kids. My female boss just didn’t see it coming!!

I became pregnant just after I had completed my probationary period. From day 1 I felt poorly with terrible pains and nausea and I had to disclose my pregnancy to someone as I had miscarried previously. My manager was not happy that she wasn’t the first to know, but from then on she basically bullied me. She implied I should have a termination, questioned me on what I would do if my child was ill, started
questioning my work rate and my hours. She even questioned my sickness and said it was not pregnancy related until I produced a leaflet called Pregnancy related pelvic girdle pain. I ended up on crutches and developed severe vomiting and dizziness due to hyperemesis gravidarum which went undiagnosed and was frankly hell and the worst 9 months of my life. She told me other women coped when pregnant and I ought to be coping too. I then had seizures at 31 weeks pregnant. At this point she started to
mellow. Perhaps she could see she had overstepped the mark, but by then the damage was done. I was signed off for the last two months of pregnancy and went on to have an emergency c section after three months on crutches. I vomited until right until I had my baby. I had an awful pregnancy which was made so much worse by a cruel manager who made me feel guilty and pathetic during what was a very difficult time in my life. I resigned after my maternity leave was over as I knew I could never work with her again after she had shown her true colours. I went on to have another baby 3 years later and had exactly the same experience except this time I was admitted to hospital for the vomiting and my husband was made redundant so was (thankfully?!) able to care for me when I could only crawl up the stairs on my hands and knees in pain and vomiting all over the house. I would have loved to have gone
back to the job I loved as it was a perfect match with my skills and local to home (I can’t drive) but I didn’t return and have been at home ever since. I am bored and unfulfilled but in other ways feel very lucky to be at home. Ultimately, I am still angry though. I felt the choice was taken from me. I feel punished for having a baby.


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